It's Time

So how many times have we made goals and either forgot about them or just stopped caring. Oh my goodness too many for me to count! Well, it is time. I am making a goal to loose 5 lbs prior to my trip home this summer. It should be easy, in theory. I want to look good in all the photos. Not that I have to have the perfect body, but I want the love handles to go away and the tummy to tighten up! So that is it. That is my goal. I want to loose 5 lbs by June 27th. To do this it is going to take exercise, healthy eating (aka no taking a run for the border), and soberity. Seriously, i just need to not drink so much, and it would make life a lot easier. Here goes the work out schedule, abs every day. I should be able to do this from wherever I might be at the time. Planks, pilates, videos, med ball. Then I need to work out every day if possible. And volleyball does not count as a workout! ha! And finally, eating healthy. Now I am an eater. For every person out there that is an eater, good for you! I just want to eat better. Less junk food, and not that i eat that much bad food, but I can give it up for three weeks. No problem. Just discipline. I wonder why I have such a hard time sticking to my own goals? Sometimes I think it is because I make unrealistic ones. You know, those stupid goals like I am going to run 10 miles every day, and you're not a runner at all! ha. But then sometimes it's just the laziness that gets to us all. Here is my new motivation for the month of June. Stick to my goals. Really really stick to them. That is why my goal to loose 5 lbs isn't 10 lbs. 5 is reasonable for me. I

Is it reality?

So I have settled into my new life here in CA. It's official. I have friends. I know bartenders. I have favorite restarants. It feels good to have a life back. Finally. While my time on the road was very educational, I love the feeling of home. I miss my home and my friends in Chicago, but it was time to move on. Today I was walking to lunch and realized that I was really happy. I haven't felt that in a long time. you know, many times we convince ourselves that we are happier than we truly are because we are afriad of the realization that we are not. That was me. I couldn't admit I was not happy because I had just left everything I knew. Now, looking back, it was worth every moment of sadness, of loneliness. While I really do miss my family and friends, I have met many new exciting people that have just as many good things to offer. I have started to form relationships with people who I know I can depend on in time of need. During my time on the road I met many men and struggled with the thought of companionship. Is was during this time I was truly questioning myself, and what I wanted and needed. I realize that these were natural feelings. I felt so open and upset because at times I wasn't that confident, independent woman that I prided myself on. I wanted a boyfriend, not because of the fact it was a boyfriend, but because I needed a companion. I wanted someone to share life with, to eat dinner with, to talk to. These are all healthy things, but yet I still was upset with myself. I found myself dating men who were so wrong. But with every wrong date, I would learn something about myself, thus turning into an amazing adventure. I actually don't talk to any of those men on the east coast anymore. Unfortunately I don't feel the need to call them even when back on the east coast. They are great men who are leading great lives. Our lives crossed at one point, and they helped me, and for that I am thankful. I feel no need to cross back into them again though. Onto the new CA life. Sunshine, beach, fine wine, and new men. A new era has begun and I couldn't be any more excited. Excited for the new me and my new life.