Is it reality?

So I have settled into my new life here in CA. It's official. I have friends. I know bartenders. I have favorite restarants. It feels good to have a life back. Finally. While my time on the road was very educational, I love the feeling of home. I miss my home and my friends in Chicago, but it was time to move on. Today I was walking to lunch and realized that I was really happy. I haven't felt that in a long time. you know, many times we convince ourselves that we are happier than we truly are because we are afriad of the realization that we are not. That was me. I couldn't admit I was not happy because I had just left everything I knew. Now, looking back, it was worth every moment of sadness, of loneliness. While I really do miss my family and friends, I have met many new exciting people that have just as many good things to offer. I have started to form relationships with people who I know I can depend on in time of need. During my time on the road I met many men and struggled with the thought of companionship. Is was during this time I was truly questioning myself, and what I wanted and needed. I realize that these were natural feelings. I felt so open and upset because at times I wasn't that confident, independent woman that I prided myself on. I wanted a boyfriend, not because of the fact it was a boyfriend, but because I needed a companion. I wanted someone to share life with, to eat dinner with, to talk to. These are all healthy things, but yet I still was upset with myself. I found myself dating men who were so wrong. But with every wrong date, I would learn something about myself, thus turning into an amazing adventure. I actually don't talk to any of those men on the east coast anymore. Unfortunately I don't feel the need to call them even when back on the east coast. They are great men who are leading great lives. Our lives crossed at one point, and they helped me, and for that I am thankful. I feel no need to cross back into them again though. Onto the new CA life. Sunshine, beach, fine wine, and new men. A new era has begun and I couldn't be any more excited. Excited for the new me and my new life.